Worried About an Elderly Parent? Where to Start
What to do when you are worried about Mum or Dad
If you are worried about an elderly parent, first decide whether it can wait. A fall where they cannot get up or may have hurt their head, back, neck or hip, or confusion that has come on suddenly, needs 999 or A&E now. For changes that have crept up over weeks or months, talk to them, then to their GP, and get practical help in place before a small problem becomes a crisis.
Perhaps something on your last visit has stayed with you, or a phone call did not sound quite right. You might be fitting this around work and your own family, or living some distance away, and wondering what is normal and what is not. This is familiar ground for our team, and there is a clear way through it.
This page is organised by what you are noticing: the falls, the tablets, the washing, the house, the memory, or the parent who insists they are fine. Each section links to a fuller guide.
We are Starling Homecare, a family run home care provider registered with the Care Quality Commission and based in St Albans. Our carers visit people at home in St Albans, Harpenden, Hemel Hempstead, Berkhamsted, Tring, Radlett and Shenley, Welwyn Garden City and Hatfield, Potters Bar, Hitchin and Hertford, and we arrange live-in care across Hertfordshire. To talk anything through with someone who arranges care every day, our St Albans team is on 01727 324 127.
What are you noticing?
Falls and unsteadiness
Mum keeps falling, or Dad is not steady on his feet.
- Preventing falls at homeWhat families can change at home, and who to ask about a falls assessment.
- Message in a BottleThe small green bottle that tells paramedics what they need to know.
- Reducing falls in later lifeStaying independent at home with less risk.
- Our falls prevention supportHow visits can make the riskier parts of the day safer.
Tablets and medication
Tablets missed, doubled up or refused.
Washing, dressing and looking after themselves
Looking less cared for than they used to.
The house and the everyday
A home that used to be spotless is slipping.
Memory and confusion
Forgetfulness, repeating things, getting lost.
Living alone, or living far away
You cannot be there every day.
Two parents at home
One of them is caring for the other.
Coming out of hospital
Discharge is close and home is not ready.
Lonely, or stopped going out
Fewer visitors, fewer reasons to leave the house.
Scams, driving and staying well
The everyday risks that creep up.
Money, assessments and paperwork
The practical side of arranging help.
Getting help started
When you are ready to take the first step.
When it cannot wait
Some worries need help today, not a plan. The NHS advice is clear:
- Call 999 if someone has fallen and may have injured their head, back, neck or hip, or cannot get up. Keep them comfortable and warm, and do not try to lift them yourself.
- Go to A&E or call 999 if someone suddenly becomes confused. Some causes of sudden confusion need treating straight away.
- Call NHS 111 if you need medical help urgently and it is not an emergency.
- See their GP if memory or confusion has been getting worse gradually.
From NHS advice on falls and NHS advice on sudden confusion, checked on 26 October 2026.
For anything that is not an emergency, these are useful first calls:
- Their GP, for health changes, memory worries and a review of their medicines.
- HertsHelp on 0300 123 4044, Hertfordshire County Council's free advice service, which can help you find support. It is open Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday 9am to 5pm, Wednesday 9am to 7pm, and Saturday and Sunday 10am to 4pm.
- Hertfordshire County Council adult care services, to ask for a care needs assessment. Our guide to care needs assessments in Hertfordshire explains how.
- A home care provider, if you want to arrange help yourself. The council's own guidance says this may be the quickest option.
Talking to your parent about it
Most people want to stay in charge of their own lives, and a conversation that starts with "you are not coping" rarely goes well. It often helps to:
- Pick a calm moment, not the morning after a fall.
- Start with what they want to keep doing, such as staying in their own home or getting to their club.
- Talk about one practical thing at a time, like help with the shopping, rather than "carers".
- Involve them in choosing who comes, and keep the first step small.
- Ask their GP, or a friend they trust, to help if the conversation keeps stalling.
Our carers visit people at home across these parts of Hertfordshire. Each area page has the local team's details.
- Home care in St Albans, 01727 324 127
- Home care in Harpenden, 01582 824 830
- Home care in Hemel Hempstead, 01442 954 137
- Home care in Berkhamsted, 01442 954 137
- Home care in Tring, 01442 954 137
- Home care in Radlett and Shenley, 01923 988 550
- Home care in Welwyn Garden City and Hatfield, 01707 714 000
- Home care in Potters Bar, 01707 714 000
- Home care in Hitchin, 01462 534739
- Home care in Hertford, 01920 746779
We also arrange live-in care across Hertfordshire. If you are not sure whether we reach your parent's road, call our St Albans team on 01727 324 127.
Home care is help in your parent's own home: visits from 30 minutes, overnight care, or a live-in carer. It can cover washing and dressing, medication prompts and support, meals, the house, company and getting out. It suits people who want to stay at home and can be safe there with the right help in place.
It does not replace medical care. Carers do not diagnose or treat; they prompt, support and pass on concerns, so the GP or NHS can be involved early. For some people a care home becomes the safer choice, and it is better to know that early than in a crisis.
Common questions
How quickly can home care start?
In urgent situations care can usually start within a day or two. Otherwise it goes at your family's pace, starting with a conversation about what is happening at home.
Do you cover my parent's town?
Our carers visit people at home in St Albans, Harpenden, Hemel Hempstead, Berkhamsted, Tring, Radlett and Shenley, Welwyn Garden City and Hatfield, Potters Bar, Hitchin and Hertford, and we arrange live-in care across Hertfordshire. If you are not sure whether we reach your parent's road, call our St Albans team on 01727 324 127.
What if my parent says they do not need any help?
That is very common. Start with one small practical thing they would welcome, such as help with the shopping or company once a week, and build from there. If you are worried about their safety today, use the urgent steps on this page first.
How to use this page
- If anything in the urgent section applies, act on that first.
- Find what you are noticing in the sections above and read the guide that matches.
- Make the first calls: their GP, and HertsHelp on 0300 123 4044.
- Talk to your parent about one small, practical step.
- To talk it through with someone who arranges care every day, call our St Albans team on 01727 324 127, or use the form below.
Arranging Care Is Simple
Starting care can feel like a big step. We keep it calm and straightforward, and we are here from your very first call to help you explore what might feel right, whether that is with us or simply pointing you in the right direction.
1. Talk to us
Get in touch by phone or request a callback. We will listen, answer your questions and help you understand the options, so you can decide in your own time.
2. A home visit and initial consultation
We arrange a visit to understand your routines, your home and what matters most to you. Together we agree an initial consultation and shape the support that feels right.
3. Your care begins
A small, familiar team starts your care, arriving at the agreed times and staying involved as your needs change. We remain your trusted adviser throughout.
Whenever you are ready, we are here to help.