Memory cafes in Hertfordshire are relaxed, regular get-togethers for people living with memory loss and the people who care for them, usually free, usually monthly or fortnightly, and usually in a church hall or a museum. We know of more than twenty across the towns we cover. This article explains what they are, what a visit is like and where to find one.
In our experience the memory cafe is the first group most families try after a diagnosis, because it is the one place where nobody needs to keep up and nobody needs to explain.
What is a memory cafe?
A memory cafe is a drop-in session where people living with dementia, their families and carers can spend an hour or two together over tea and cake, with activities, music or reminiscence if people want them. It is not a day centre and it is not a clinic. It is a room designed so that a person whose memory is changing can be themselves in company.
Most are run by churches, community groups, Age UK Hertfordshire, the Alzheimer's Society or small charities such as Say it with a Smile. Some, like the Back in the Day Café at St Albans Museum, use objects and photographs to prompt conversation. Others, like the Tring Reminiscence Group, are built around local history. The Alzheimer's Society's Together Groups in Hertford, Potters Bar, Redbourn and Letchworth are a structured version of the same idea.
Why do memory cafes help?
The NHS guidance on loneliness in older people says older people who live alone or have lost regular contact are particularly at risk of loneliness, and that regular groups help. For someone with dementia, ordinary groups can become hard, because conversation moves too fast. A memory cafe moves at the pace of the people in it.
They help the carer too. Most memory cafes are as much for the husband, wife, son or daughter as for the person with dementia, and the half hour talking to someone else in the same position is often what people remember afterwards.
What does a visit cost, and do you need to book?
Most memory cafes are free or by donation. The Tring Reminiscence Group is £1, the Hertswise groups in Welwyn Garden City are £5, and structured sessions such as Brainwaves in Tring or COGS Club in Berkhamsted have a charge, so ask first. Most are drop in, but the Alzheimer's Society groups and some cafes ask you to contact them before the first visit. Our pages say which is which.
How do I take a parent for the first time?
Go together, and plan to stay. Memory cafes are easier than most first visits, because the volunteers expect a new person to be unsure and because there is always something on the table to talk about. Choose one close to home, and go back the same day the following fortnight.
Where getting there is the barrier, our companionship care includes a carer who goes with someone to the cafe, stays, and brings them home. Our dementia care at home is arranged around the groups a person already enjoys, not instead of them.
One more thing we have learned about memory cafes in Hertfordshire: they are the place families find out what else exists. The carer at the next table knows which day centre has a space and which GP surgery has a social prescriber, and that knowledge is as valuable as the cake.
Where to find memory cafes in Hertfordshire
Each of our town pages lists the memory cafes, Together Groups and reminiscence groups we know of under dementia friendly, with the day, the venue, the cost and who to contact. We confirm the details with the organisers and check the pages every week.
St Albans · Harpenden · Radlett and Shenley · Hemel Hempstead · Berkhamsted · Tring · Hitchin · Hertford and Ware · Welwyn Garden City and Hatfield · Potters Bar · All of Hertfordshire
Common questions about memory cafes in Hertfordshire
Does my parent need a diagnosis to go to a memory cafe?
No. Memory cafes in Hertfordshire are open to anyone. Memory cafes are for anyone living with memory loss and the people who support them, with or without a formal diagnosis. Nobody will ask.
Can I leave my parent at a memory cafe?
Usually not. Most memory cafes are run for the person and their carer together, and they are not a sitting service. Where you need a break, our respite and companionship care can cover it, and some Age UK day clubs offer a full day.
Can a carer take my parent to a memory cafe?
Yes. A companionship carer can help someone get ready, go with them, stay for the session and bring them home. Starling Homecare's St Albans office is on 01727 324 127.
A memory cafe is usually the gentlest first step after a diagnosis, for the person and for the family. Start with the What's On for Older People pages for your parent's town, and we are on 01727 324 127 if you would like to talk it through.
Arranging Care Is Simple
Starting care can feel like a big step. We keep it calm and straightforward, and we are here to guide you from your very first call.
1. Talk to us
Get in touch by phone or request a callback. We will listen, answer your questions and help you understand the options, so you can decide what feels right in your own time.
2. A home visit and initial consultation
We arrange a visit to understand your routines, your home and what matters most to you. Together we agree an initial consultation and shape the support that feels right.
3. Your care begins
A small, familiar team starts your care, arriving at the agreed times and staying involved as your needs change. We remain your trusted adviser throughout.
Whenever you are ready, we are here to help.