Mum Has Stopped Eating Properly: What to Do

If you find an elderly parent not eating properly and are worried they may be malnourished, the NHS advises seeing a GP, especially if they have lost weight without trying. The NHS says weight loss is not an inevitable result of old age. If they show signs of dehydration, call 999 or go to A&E if they also seem confused, or are sleepier than normal or hard to wake. The same applies if they have difficulty breathing, or their skin, lips or tongue look blue, grey, pale or blotchy. Some signs need an urgent GP appointment or NHS 111 instead, such as dizziness on standing that does not go away, dark yellow pee or peeing less than normal.

To talk anything through with someone local, our Welwyn Garden City and Hatfield team is on 01707 714 000.

Perhaps you noticed a fridge emptier than usual, or your parent said they were fine and you were not quite convinced. That doubt can sit with you for days. If you live some distance away, or have work and children of your own, you might also wonder how you could make sure they eat well every day, and feel you ought to be doing more.

Our team has helped families through mealtime worries like this before, so you will not be starting from scratch.

Noticing small things like this is how a change gets picked up early. The steps below start with the GP, then look at practical help with meals, so it does not all rest on you.

Elderly parent not eating: what it can mean

The NHS guide to malnutrition says losing 5% to 10% or more of body weight over three to six months is one of the main signs. Other signs include a lack of interest in eating and drinking, feeling tired all the time and feeling weak.

The NHS lists a range of possible causes, including:

• teeth in poor condition, or dentures that do not fit properly
• side effects from medicines, such as nausea or a poor appetite
• depression, which may affect mood and the desire to eat
• dementia, which can cause a person to forget to eat
• a physical difficulty that makes it hard to move around, cook or shop for food
• living alone and being socially isolated

The GP can help find out what is behind it. Our guide to the signs an elderly parent needs help at home covers the other changes worth watching alongside this one.

What to do today and this week

None of this needs doing all at once.

• Look in the fridge and cupboards. Out of date food, untouched shopping or only biscuits and tea tell you a lot.
• Check drinks as well as food. The NHS says older adults are more at risk of dehydration.
• Book the GP. The NHS says a GP can check for malnutrition by measuring weight and height, and may refer to a dietitian.
• Write a short list first. Note what you have seen, roughly when it started and any recent changes to medicines.
• Ask the pharmacist about side effects. Never stop or change a medicine without the GP or pharmacist.

If work or distance means you cannot be there every day, that is something to plan around. A hot meal delivery can bridge the gap while you sort out the rest.

How to raise it with your parent

Your parent may have spent years making sure you ate properly, so turning that round can feel awkward. It can help to start from what you have noticed and keep it practical. For example:

• "Your trousers look a bit loose, Mum. Shall we mention it to the GP, just to be sure?"
• "Cooking every night is a lot of effort for one. Would it help if someone popped in at lunchtime?"
• "I'd worry less if I knew you'd had a proper meal. What would make that easier?"

If your parent is unsure about having help, it can start with someone from our team simply coming round for a chat. It does not have to be formal. It is a conversation to get to know them and find out what matters to them, and it often breaks the ice. We have a lot of experience with these first visits.

Who to call in Hertfordshire

First, the GP. An elderly parent not eating enough, or losing weight without trying, is a good reason for an appointment.

Then, HertsHelp on 0300 123 4044. This is Hertfordshire County Council's free advice service, and it can help you find a suitable service.

For meals, the council's meals on wheels service in Hertfordshire is delivered by Health and Independent Living Support, on 0330 200 0103. The council says that if you call before 8.30am, a hot meal can arrive the same day. The drivers also check your parent is OK before they leave.

How Starling Homecare can help

Help with meals is not taking over. It is sensible planning that keeps your parent independent at home, and lets your visits be about time together rather than checking the fridge.

For an elderly parent not eating well, visiting care at mealtimes can help, from 30 minute visits upwards. Our later life care at home and domestic support can include:

• Meal preparation, cooking food your parent likes.
• Prompting to eat and drink, with a drink left within reach.
• Shopping, so the fridge stays stocked.
• Companionship at mealtimes, so lunch is not eaten alone.
• Keeping the family informed if anything changes.

The carer's role is to notice, prompt and encourage. Where something seems wrong, they pass concerns to you and, with consent, to the GP. Carers do not plan special diets or carry out clinical tasks; weight checks and dietitian advice stay with the GP and NHS team. Our article on making sure every day includes a proper meal shows how mealtime visits fit into a week.

Whether your parent is in Brookmans Park or elsewhere in Welwyn Hatfield, we would usually start with a visit at the mealtime they find hardest, and in urgent situations care can usually start within a day or two. We stay alongside you as things change, adding visits if needed, with overnight or live-in care available later.

Areas we cover

Starling Homecare's carers visit people at home in St Albans, Harpenden, Hemel Hempstead, Berkhamsted, Tring, Radlett and Shenley, Welwyn Garden City and Hatfield, Potters Bar, Hitchin and Hertford, and we arrange live-in care across Hertfordshire.

For more practical help, read our guide for families worried about an elderly parent. You can also see our home care in Welwyn Garden City and Hatfield.

Frequently asked questions

How much weight loss is worrying in an older person?

The NHS says losing 5% to 10% or more of body weight over three to six months is one of the main signs of malnutrition. The NHS also says to see a GP if you are worried that someone in your care may be malnourished.

Is it normal for older people to eat less?

The NHS is clear that weight loss is not an inevitable result of old age. It lists a lack of interest in eating and drinking, feeling tired all the time and feeling weak among the signs of malnutrition, so if you notice these, ask the GP to check.

Can a carer make sure Mum drinks enough?

A carer can make drinks, leave them within reach and encourage sips during the visit. They can also note how much has gone and tell you if it seems low. Signs of dehydration, such as dizziness on standing that does not go away, still need the GP or NHS 111.

If mealtimes have become the worry, a conversation is an easy place to start. Our Welwyn Garden City and Hatfield team is on 01707 714 000, and you will be talking to someone who arranges care every day. It often helps to know what good support looks like before you decide anything.

Figures and guidance checked on 26 October 2026 against the NHS malnutrition guide, the NHS dehydration page and Hertfordshire County Council's meals on wheels page.